hey baby, how are u today? things dont work out quite well over here, as usual.One of my teacher told me that i'm getting worst. Well,i said ntg,cuz its true. I'm really getting worst over here but I dunt care. My friends told me ive changed alot. Changed into a very lazy sort of person. Well,they kno ntg. Its not me being lazy... well, maybe it is. Lazy to care everything. About all the things happening around me,i dunt gv a damn.

My parents are always nagging at me telling me to change my attitude. I kept quiet. They will never understand. Everytime they start to say anything, i just walk away. I dunt want to hear. I'm So tired. Dad told me i'm not going to be a successful person. And i hate it when he's always right about stuff. So what if i'm really not a successful person? Well, to say the truth, i really dunt care.

I predicted my own future... That is i'm going to fail my exams. Especially my piano exam. That is coming in July i guess. I cant find a way to get myself to pass the exam. Cuz time is quite limit. I can see my mum's disappointed face. And my dad's too.. It hurts. And i can do nothing abt it. And next week will be my mid term exam. I can see that i'll get twenty or ten marks for my physics, chemistry and bio. Maybe other subjects too.Well, I dunt want to study anymore. I studied for my parents but, well they trashed my aim. Maybe i should just fail all my subjects... And get myself kicked out of the school.Then i wont hv to study anymore.. and be like work for my dad in the office.. and lead a shit life.. Or maybe i'll run away from home.. from reality.. and then rot in the streets.. till somebody or some disease killed me.

I'll end up in hell anyways. So there's no difference of being good or bad in life.

I really cant see any hope in my life now.

Justin, my neighbour, also my good friend, he went to college this morning. I dint say good bye to him. Well, should just say that i refused to. He was the one who kept on supporting me to study, and let me realised that studies actually are quite fun. I wasnt worried about getting bad marks for my exam.. until he's gone. Its like a light, vanished. And now i'm all alone. No one will help me anymore. I'm on my own.. I hv to take care of my fish myself, no one will go to the fishshop and buy fish with me anymore.. and I hv to be alone when i dunt want to cuz now tat he's gone, I dunt have a "companion" anymore.. I wont hv somebody to play guitar for me to listen and teach me how to be indepandent.. And most of all, i wont hv somebody to talk to.. and laugh with..

I stood at the stairs.. and stared at his room window... hoping that he will pop out and say hi.. like usual. But his room is all black. And i know there will be noone to pop out the window and say hi. Dont know why, the feeling of loneliness attacked me once more.. I feel really sad and i cried.. again. i guess i got used to him being by my side.. Just like agnes.. But she's gone.. And now..

He's gone.

Everyone is gone..

But i guess i should just stop being depress. Instead, I should feel happy. Cuz he told me he felt glad abt leaving here. Why? Becuz he got into the same college wif his gf. And when he got down the plane, the first person he'll see will be his gf. When i heard this, I felt sad. Wonder when will i hv that kind of sweet relationship.. Maybe never. Apart from being sad, I felt glad for him too. He can finally be with his gf. sigh.. then what abt me? I'll be all alone again... Like now.

Love hurts.. Family hurts.. Friendship hurts too.

What doesnt hurts?

..What?