日记

现在的我 正在家里浪费时间...
气死了。明明说带我去清明，结果...? haiy

memory card的图片都不见了 真气人哎

为什么最近老是发生一些会气死我的事呢？？

真的是不明白。

然而，人生依然继续着。

我去做功课！

@-@

..

你说得没错，你不是个好男人，而且也一定会让自己的女朋友伤心。老是找不到你我很不安。管不着你我很不甘。太在乎你更是让我无法让自己好好爱你。不说你，我自己问题也很多。也或许说，你根本就不了解我要的是什么。还是说，是我太固执，太爱自由？没错..我根本不愿意再次被爱情束缚。昨天晚上跟今天早上联络不到你我感到很害怕，也不知道自己在害怕什么..之后当你传来简讯时，我无法控制自己，在班上发狂大笑...之后了解到..原来自己那么在乎你。然而，我并不希望自己会在乎你。我也不想再想方法去管你了。不是放弃管制你，而是觉得..自己根本没有资格。你要抽烟，随便。去pub，随便。去看美女，随便。不接我电话，不理我，都随便你。没错，我很自私。我只想到自己。那又如何？我只想保护自己。一旦有一点点的不安感，我就会害怕。之后，就不会再让自己爱你。

... 好想哭。

我好寂寞。

就是因为寂寞...所以才会找别人来陪。这样的原因..难道你不知道吗？

...因为你..

我变得好寂寞。



想跟你说对不起..因为我自己...

也不是一个好女人。

这首歌让我想起一个人

Listen
I'd be lying if i told you
That i didnt see it coming
Be more of a liar if i said
Hey i didnt want it to be something
You deserve much better
For the love that you have shared
I know you wont believe it
But girl i swear
That i got love for you
Big love for you
Even when im tripping
The fact remains that
You will always be my baby
My baby

But dig the truth
Baby dig the truth
I cant hide my feelings
Especially when the whole world can see

That my heart is in two different places
I got you in my life and i wanted her right
But its hard to let it go
When my love has two different faces
And i cant pretise coz they both look right
Someone tell me what's a man to do
When he's loving two
And he don't wanna lie
But he can't tell the truth

What's a man to do
When he's loving two
But he can't keep his heart
In two different places
In two different places

I know you feel it coz you say
There is much more to this story
But i'd be a fool to say
I trust her and im always gona love her
You know that you dont wanna hear

I been living on the edge baby
So i guess yea baby
She aint nothing but she is real
But why take her through it
When i still got love for you
Big love for you
Even when im tripping
The fact remains that
You will always be my baby
My baby

But take the truth
Baby take the truth
I can't hide my feelings
Espcially when the whole world can see

That my heart is in two different places
I got you in my life and i wanted her right
But its hard to let it go
When my love has two different faces
And i cant pretise coz they both look right
Someone tell me what's a man to do
When he's loving two
And he don't wanna lie
But he can't tell the truth

What's a man to do
When he's loving two
But he can't keep his heart
In two different places
In two different places

I wanna tell you its over
That i ain't thinking of her
I wanna really mean it
That i want you to see it
That im really trying to leave her behind
And im trying not to make you cry
I wanna tell you that
I ain't playing games and im dedicated to recieve a change
But when i look in the mirror

It's the same old me

That my heart is in two different places
I got you in my life and i wanted her right
But its hard to let it go
When my love has two different faces
And i cant pretise coz they both look right
Someone tell me what's a man to do
When he's loving two
And he don't wanna lie
But he can't tell the truth

What's a man to do
When he's loving two
But he can't keep his heart
In two different places
In two different places
In two different places

怕了

“我们本来就没有结果的”

...我好像...被狠狠地闪了一记耳光。

电话被挂上了...但手机依然停留在耳边...
之后又是一大堆掉不完的眼泪...
最终蹲在地上，强力地捂住双唇...
害怕别人听到我在哭泣...。

这一次 就算了吧..

他不会是我的。

我永远都不会得到他...

我知道了...我明白了

我真的懂了...

我走之后...
希望他会幸福。

不对..他一定会幸福的

没有我他一定会很幸福。

从一开始只要没有我
从一开始只要这个世界没有我
从一开始只要我不存在着

我...只是多余的

笑着掉眼泪...
这种生活...我不要了

相信爱情...我真的很愚蠢。

我们本来就不会有结果..
我比谁都明白...
但为什么我比谁都愿意相信
我们会有结果..

原来从头到尾

都只有我这么傻傻相信着..

既然...没结果
那就别继续下去了吧
...已经没有意义了。

你明知道...我害怕寂寞...我害怕心痛..

但为什么...总让我觉得我很寂寞...总让我逃脱不了心痛的感觉..

我害怕了。
我怕了你了...
我不会再爱你了

无题

如果现在我死了，一定是下地狱的吧。

连呼吸...我都觉得好痛苦。

想找人来安慰...
想找个人来陪...
想找个人说话...

可是...找不到任何人。

眼泪一直不停淌下。

我始终...还是一个人。

嘲笑了自己的愚蠢...。

抱着泰迪熊...催眠自己...快睡吧。

只要睡着了...就不会那么痛苦了。

只要睡着了...眼泪就能停止了。

只要睡着了...心就不会那么酸了。

只要睡着了...就什么也不用去想了...。